I am starting to get very anxious. The next few weeks are starting to pick up speed again in the plans department. I'm excited for this because I've felt like the last week and a half have moved at a snail's pace. My sister is due in a few days so my niece will be here soon :)!! I am so very excited to meet her.
On the other hand, I'm scared. I've started having contractions again, even on the medicine. They aren't regular or anything worth keeping track of yet but if I'm having them while taking the medicine, am I going to have more of them off of it? I talked to my doctor a little about this at my last appointment but I wasn't having any contractions other than braxton hicks. I told him how difficult its been trying to keep up with Jackson while trying to move slow enough to not get dizzy or feel light headed. He told me that I was okay to stop taking it at 35 weeks. Luckily, that's this Thursday. However, I have a diaper study meeting Wednesday evening that I need to drive myself to so I'm stopping it a day early. I haven't felt comfortable enough to drive and since quick movements make me feel dizzy its been the best for me not to.
This pregnancy is so different from Jackson's. I know they say that no two pregnancies are the same but I wasn't ready for them to be this different. Losing 20 pounds (I was at my pre-Jackson weight at the beginning of my 2nd trimester) and preterm labor at 33 weeks weren't what I was expecting. I'm probably the only woman in history that's actually upset that she will weigh less after she gives birth than she did before her pregnancy. I won't dwell on this for the sake of anyone who would love to hit me right about now. I don't wish 13 weeks of not being able to eat on anyone though- it was terrible. I love my food. I was unable to bake my cookies because even they made me want to vomit. Wasn't a pretty time, let me tell you.
I feel a little better about the whole "what if I go into labor early" aspect since they gave me two rounds of corticosteroid shots for Cooper's lung development during our little hospital getaway. It doesn't ease my mind 100% and its hard not to let the unknown bother me. This is my baby we're talking about... I don't want him to be anything less than perfectly healthy. The NICU people scared the shit out of me when they came in to talk to us at the hospital just in case they had to deliver Coop while we were there. So many scenarios and things to think about. It was unbelievably and horribly overwhelming. I just want a healthy little man!!!!!
I'm going to try to force myself to go back to sleep now. I've had a rough couple of mornings lately and they're starting to knock me down a little bit. Mel, Teagy & Rhett are coming to visit us in a few hours so I need to rest a little bit before they get here! I'm so excited to see them and I can't wait to see how excited Jackson is going to be too!!! He loves his Teagy!!
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